A Symposium on Solitude

Begin scene: Thoreau and Gregor converse about the meaning of solitude.

Thoreau: [Living in the wild is the only way to go. Submersing yourself in solitude is the only true way to see the world. Being close to nature frees your soul, and honestly, I have fallen completely in love with being alone. “I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” For example, the sounds you hear in nature cannot compare to anything else in the world. The only way to experience this is to go out in nature alone.]

Gregor: [Look, Thoreau, I get that you love to be alone. I am alone myself, though in a figurative sense, and not by choice. You see, I am condemned to a life as a giant bug. Nobody wants to be around me, look at me, or even talk to me. This kind of solitude is not freedom; it is misery. My own family has completely disowned me and gone on to view me as nothing more than a spiteful piece of nothing. How would you deal with that?]

Thoreau: [Look man, I apologize. I didn’t realize it was so rough on you. Obviously my solitude was by choice, as I appreciate the natural world so much that I wanted to be alone with it. If I could give you any advice, it would be to go outside and leave the confines of your room; enjoy the fresh air! Have thanks for even being alive and being one with nature. Take it all in and leave those who condemn you behind.]

Gregor: [I know it may sound easy to you, but it’s not the most simple task to just go outside and appreciate nature. You do not understand what it is like to be stuck in such a despicable exoskeleton. Oh, how the townspeople would judge me! You should see the look on peoples’ faces when they see me for the first time. If they do not instantly run away screaming, all they want to do is smash me like they would any other bug.]

Douglass: [I can sympathize with you, Gregor. Being a black man during the time of slavery is no easy task. Every man I come across looks down upon me. I have been reduced to nothing – just a piece of property that is good for only doing hard labor. These white men have no appreciation for the intelligence I possess. I might as well be a giant bug! I would be viewed just the same: having no purpose in life.]

Thoreau: [Douglass, why do you not just escape and run away to the countryside? Why do you not just leave your confines and immerse yourself in the splendors of nature?]

Douglass: [Okay, you have no idea what slavery is, do you? I am a slave. I cannot just run away. I will surely be killed.]

Chabert: [I hate to barge in, but are you chaps talking about solitude? I have plenty of experience in this area.]

Gregor: [We were. What is your story?]

Chabert: [Well, I was a decorated colonel, who lived a very promising and fancy lifestyle. I was believed to have been killed in battle after fighting for Napoleon, and the whole country went on with life without me. However, unbeknownst to them, I had survived, and I was slowly trying to rebuild my life before I returned home. When I did, I found my wife remarried, and not one single soul believed I was who I said I was. Only one man did – my lawyer, Derville. Talk about solitude; I suddenly had no friends, no family. All I could do was grow old believing that I would never lead a fulfilling life once again.]

Thoreau: [Well, that does not seem so bad, Colonel. I would advice you to just go out into nature and appreciate what it is that you do have in this life.]

Chabert: [I appreciate your optimism, but I am not capable of having that sort of outlook on life; not anymore, that is. You cannot even begin to understand the agony of going from living such a luxurious lifestyle to having nothing at all. You are probably a man who does not have much to your name, so you would have nothing to lose. I on the other hand, lost everything; and I had much to my name.]

Douglass: [I, like Thoreau, did not have much to my name either. That’s why I found the courage inside to do whatever I could to win my freedom. After much hard work, I was able to become a free man!]

Gregor: [Yeah that is great and all, but I am still a freaking bug! How do you expect me to break out of this shell and become human again? Your situation is much different than mine – all of your situations are much different than mine! You just cannot begin to understand the agony I feel.]

Podzneyshev: [Pardon me, comrades, but you may think you know what solitude is all about, but true solitude comes from heartbreak and hatred. I caught my wife cheating on me. So do you know what I did? I killed her.]

Douglass: [Get out of here, you are insane.]

Podzneyshev: [It is true, comrade. I killed her. And you have no idea the kind of feeling of loneliness that comes from being in a marriage in which you are unhappy.]

Chabert: [I guess I can relate now. I mean, I was happy while my wife and I were together. It was only after my return that I realized what a cold, cruel woman she really was. She completely denounced my existence, and would not let me see even a penny of my own fortune! That greedy wench took it all. And now I am left with nothing.]

Podzneyshev: [Similarly, I am left with nothing but loneliness. I am even regretful for what I did. I even asked for forgiveness from the passengers on the train whom I told my story. How pathetic am I?]

Gregor: [We all have regrets. The only thing we can do is live in the moment I guess and try to cope with our current situations. But look at the bright side, you are not a giant bug.]

Podzneyshev: [That is true. That sucks. I am sorry, comrade.]

Gregor: [I guess it is okay. I mean, I can smells things much easier now, so that could be an advantage of being a bug. Also I can eat pretty much anything.]

Mrs. Ramsay: [Yuck, enough of all this bug talk!]

Gregor: [I’m sorry, who are you, ma’am?]

Mrs. Ramsay: [My name is Mrs. Ramsay, and I believe I have a lot in common with both Chabert and Podzneyshev on the topic of unhappy relationships. I love my husband dearly, but I really struggle with his moods and selfishness. Sometimes it really does make me feel as though I am alone in this marriage. However, I am strong, and I continually show that I have the courage escape these feelings of solitude.]

All but Mrs. Ramsay: [showing physical and verbal signs of disgust.]

Douglass: [That is not making anyone feel better, lady. You are supposed to sympathize with us about your loneliness, not show us that you are actually a happy and positive person.]

Thoreau: [I find your story enthralling, Mrs. Ramsay. However, have you had the chance to truly appreciate the beauties of nature and the natural…]

Cut off by the rest of the group.

All: [SHUT UP, THOREAU!]

Thoreau: [This is exactly why I prefer to live alone. I cannot stand these ungrateful human beings. Why do you all not learn to be thankful for all that you have – the land, the trees, the air?]

Douglass: [Because we believe that there is more to life than just the nature around us. There are more important issues that must be addressed, such as racial equality.]

Gregor: [And not being a bug!]

Podzneyshev: [And being in a happy marriage.]

Mrs. Ramsay nods.

Chabert: [And reputation.]

Thoreau: [I am not listening to a word you all are saying.]

Mrs. Ramsay comes out of nowhere to whack Thoreau upside the head with a 2x4.

Douglass: [Nice swing, Ramsay.]

Mrs. Ramsay: [Thank you. I may be a woman, but I sure have some strength in me!]

Gregor: [I think that is what we have all learned today – that we have a strength inside of us that helps us deal with our feelings of solitude. Even if I never turn back into a human being, there is something inside of me that keeps me going day after day.]

Podzneyshev: [And even though I killed my wife, I have the strength to ask for forgiveness.]

Chabert: [And even though I lost all of my loved ones and my fortune, I will not care as much since I am partially insane in an old folks’ home!]

Douglass: [Good for you, Chabert! Atta boy!]

Mrs. Ramsay: [How about I prepare a nice dinner for all of you boys; you look famished!]

All (minus Thoreau, of course): [That sounds wonderful! Thank you, ma’am!]

All exit, hand in hand, and make their way to Mrs. Ramsay’s house where they anxiously await their feast.

Thoreau awakens alone, hours later.

Thoreau: [Guys…?]

End scene.